The Great Pretender (Jealousy Spin off)
by George Lucas Official
Summary: Written by Chewburt Grumplebuck Penny wasn't like the other boys, he had to find himsef and let it shine!


The Great Pretender

"Hiya Georgie," murmured the man dressed as a children's clown, "funny to run into you in a place like this." he finished with a lick of the lips and a twist of a cheeky nipple.

"Say, Mister, what are you doing?" inquired the small boy furtively, wondering what on earth was going on.

"Why, I'm FUCKING you Georgie!" exclaimed Pennywise.

"Oh, well that's alright then," concluded Georgie. A tumble of shapes, a rush of voices, and Georgie woke up in a great big ol sweat.

"Aw shit," cried out the 7 year old, frustrated that his sexual deviance as a clown fetishist didn't help with his own crap life. He got up from his musty bed and sprang downstairs in a heap of speed.

"Mom? Can I get my clown book back today?" asked the hopeful Georgie. His own mother turned, herself being more obese than Jesus on a Big Mac Diet, nearly crushed all of the tiny bones from his body as she waddled towards him.

"Now...listen here...you little SHIT," began his mother, spit and drool flying from her mouth, "your father and I pay for your every essence of being…" she had to stop talking and take a breather. When she got her energy back, she said, "and on no accounts are we paying for you to...become a clown fucker!"

"Aw fuck you mom!" Georgie actually lost his fucking mind and nipple sucked the life out of his mom until she was a husk of her former self. Only her flesh remained, pudgy and infertile. Georgie was still wrapped up in his feeling of thrill killing when the door opened, and his homosexual brother Bill entered.

"G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GEOR-GE-GEORGIE!" stammered the mentally inadequate Bill, his stuttering getting the best of his worthless existence, "I-I-I-ITS B-BACK!" He finished.

"Bill, to be quite fucking honest I've had enough of your bullshit. Eat mom." commanded Georgie. Without hesitation Bill got down on his knees and began shovelling handfuls of mother flesh into his unhinged mouth.

"Georgie, Georgie...the first thing you have to know about being a clown...is having FUN!" surmised Pennywise. He hit the last word in a perfect crystalline G7. The sound created rivers of semen flowing from the great mountains.

"But how?" Georgie had never been so confused in his life, not even when he walked in on Bill slipping the dirty finger to a lifesize cutout of Bill Murray.

"Well, you see, being a clown, it ain't - SURPRISE BITCH," Pennywise bodyslammed Georgie ass first into a well.

Months had passed since the ordeal, and Georgie found himself waking slowly as if from a deep sleep. His head felt as though it was weighed down with pounds and pounds of gold. It was real heavy.

"Gee, what's…" Georgie stopped when he realised something was wrong. Though he could control his lips, his body...his body was numb! Just then, a doctor walked in.

"Oh shit right you're pretty paralyzed." he evaluated. He exited the room.

"Huh?" wondered Georgie. What had he done to deserve this? His whole life...graduating...finishing High School...Falling in Love….They all seemed distant and impossible realities to him now. The door creaked open and Pennywise the Dancing Clown shuffled in the room slowly, his eyes fixed on the floor in a guilty fashion.

"Listen kid, I, uh...wanted to say that I'm real sorry for what happened." Pennywise began to tear up, and his makeup began to run down his face in heavy blotches. "My parents, they weren't from around - wow you are real gay." Pennywise said as he realised that Georgie wasn't paralyzed at all. In fact, Georgie was shitting! Right in his mouth!

 _Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..._ that was the only sound Penny could make under the influence of the ridiculous amount of fecal material entering his body.

"Tribble up tup little snupi snup, DRIZZLE MA NIZZLE AND THE WHOLE LITTLE BIZZLE!" In a twirl of gangster clothing and a flat back cap, Penny turned a whole 360 degrees and finished the rap. The Losers Club cheered and hollered and whistled.

"Wow you're so good Penny!" gushed Bev, the only girl in the group.

"Yeah that was SICK!" congratulated Bill, his stutter miraculously cured by Penny's sick rhymes.

"Wow you...you really think so?" asked Penny shyly. No one had ever paid him a compliment before.

Through the valleys, under hill and over hill, out of the frying pan and into the...ya know ;). Penny strolled through the Garden of Eden, naked as the day he was made alive by Lucas himself. Suddenly, through a patch of moonlight, he came across a fruit. Boy, he was sure hungry. And since Adam was nowhere to be seen…

His greed overtaking himself, Penny took a long and scrumptious bite from the fruit. A purple mist appeared, and Penny found himself being tormented intensely. He didn't know by what, but he felt it in his bones.

"Shouldn't have taken that fruit I guess." Because of his neverending bulimic tendencies, Penny vomited up the remains anyways. Just another day in the life of Penny, the Great Pretender! The end.


End file.
